Prostitutes ?

What’s your dick like? Is it big? Can I have a taste? Her hand then slid up my thigh, and went straight for the goods. She was gorgeous, and under most circumstances, this is the stage of a night out where it would seem to be going your way, but she was also a prostitute. I suppose she still is, it was only two days ago.

We are at the Sheraton in Abuja, there’s a camp ground where all the overland travelers congregate, swap stories and go to nearby pub for overpriced beer. That’s where we were, Don myself and C-baz, having a cold one after dinner. We’d been travelling all day and a cold Star beer has an amazingly refreshing taste…”cool refreshing drinks” we call them, and cool and refreshing they tend to be. We’d defended ourselves against the advances of a few ladies of the night in Ghana and so I thought pffft, we’re experienced worldly chaps, I can handle anything this bunch throw at me.

Um…not exactly. This girl was just way too forward, I think I may have even blushed as I politely tried to extricate myself from the wandering hands and advances as she tried to teach me how to kiss. I’m not sure what her angle was, maybe she thought that if she just kept at it I may have just given in and said “oh all right, if I must!”. Anyway I got my bum groped, my back rubbed and knees felt up , but the crotch area seemed to be a big spot of attraction. 

Don egging her on by saying “When he says no, he means yes, look he’s smiling” didn’t help the situation either, but I’d have done the same. It is great for your ego though, I must say; these gorgeous woman who should really be on the pages of beauty magazines, all draped on you. They act like your babbling about travelling is interesting, they tell you how nice your eyes are, ask you if you believe in love at first sight. My personal favorite was…”You have a lot of whiskers, its nice”, thats when I knew she was lying… We haven’t shaved in 3 weeks, and the natural white-trash phenomenon that is my facial hair cannot be described as “nice” in any language. Don’s has started to get a curl which makes his face look slightly pubic in itself. But, facial nastiness aside, you come out of these places feeling like a right stud! All the ladies want you, ALL of them. Although C-baz was defending himself against the advances of a New Zealand chap who took a liking to him, so I suppose he gets an extra point.

Jokes aside, its pretty sad, they all have a cover story and its always the same. You go to the place, sit and then these beautiful ladies walk up. They’re keen to chat and tell you how they are studying or musicians. Then comes the hook, “you can have me tonight”, I have no idea how regular girls met regular guys in these situations. But I suppose we were in a place renowned for the ladies of the night (we only read that afterwards, our bad). So I am not going to wax lyrical on the state of sexuality in Nigeria, rather just notch it up to us going to the local hooker hook-up joint by accident. I did get swindled out of two 5 dollar beers though, before I even realized it, Bam, on my tab and the barman noting it down that I had agreed… well done there lady of the night, well done there. In hind sight, I really should have taken her back to the camp ground and shown her my tarp on the ground and mosquito net held in place by half bricks… just to see if she is still keen on the supposedly rich guy staying at the Sheraton.

We’ve also learned a few cultural do’s and don’ts, C-baz pulling over and asking the large group of Muslim guys where he can but beer at this hour was possibly not the right thing to do, but C-baz can charm anyone. We didn’t get beer though.

We’ve also met some cool people also travelling, funnily enough two sets of South Africans taking long trips back home down the West coast. Cool people, helpful, we ended up eating together, they gave me a French Phrase book so now I can become potent in the use of the French language. Check out their website at www.adventurepainter.com. Abuja itself is a pretty good city, good roads, traffic, building happening all over. C-baz is out partying with his German mates, I think I’ll be driving tomorrow as we’re off to the last Nigerian Park before we head back into Benin and the Burkina Faso. We’ve been playing boole and chatting around the fire we’ve made on the field. 5 of us on the soccer field behind the Sheraton, in the middle of Abuja. Pretty funny really…

Peace